Well! I really was STUPID to REJECT a RELATIONSHIP by a GUY --> SSGNG HH --> FROM PLAB. Why, so stupid to reject him....Haiz? Well, I am really really scared in getting a HURT again. I took about 9months to mend my broken heart for a 18months relationship with NG WL.
This happened when my 1st ex bf --> NG WL had a few flings when I am away in Australia Detachment for only a month, OMG. suck guy.
During this brokeoff, ATCH my SQN Clerk came along, we are always at loggerhead but he is someone I could replied on, we became good friends, ATCH lend me his shoulder when I was suffering during that 9months. Really Apprecipate him.
In Yr 1993 to 1996, I went over to Australia Detachment again and this time wih my SQN, I met up with another guy, SSG NG HH, I was attracked to him because of his dimple, he is really very cute. I am always having "crush" to guys with dimple, well his dimple really goes well with him. I guess he did notice me too. He started smiling to me whenever he sees me with no doubt, I am always paying attention at him cause I like his smile alot, hehehehe.
Finally, SSG NG HH approached me and we started talking and chatting about everything and anything under the sun, about his family and my experience about my 1st ex bf etc, hehehehehehe. I was really comfortable with him but with "NO SPECIAL ATTENTION" for him.
After this long 9months of broken heart, I finally got over with company of SSG NG HH and ATCH around me and people in AUSTRALIA make me feels pretty good & happy about everything and everybody. LIFE GOES ON.
During my 2 months detachment at Darwin, I got to know alot of people and Friends from PLAB, mmmm I love all of them and I have forgotten that I do have a broken heart to mend.
Then my 2 months detachment came to an end, I need to go back to Singapore, SHIT, i got to go back to the place that makes me sad again. though there are people I love in SIngapore, I really don't feel like going home but got no choice.
SSG NG HH wrote me a stack of "LETTERS", he told me to read it when I am back in SINGAPORE, I Do not know what this secretive about but I promise him and give him my word. The moment he gave me the stack of letters, seriously, I am eager to see but bor pian. I got to keep my word.
I have a funny feeling that SSG NG HH likes me since he did not confess it or say it. No doubt, I likes him too, but I didn't take this feeling seriously, I told myself, it is silly of me....forget about falling in love again cause I oso not pretty or even a little good-looking... so cannot be anybody gf..... there4 I tell myself dun b to sensitive.... stay neutal please don't get HURT again. I will rather prefer to stay and thinks that I am foolish to think NG HH is interested in me.
Well, when I first started reading his "stacks of letters", I was laughing away happily about it, laughing at him for being so silly writing this comments etc. (Romantic Actually)
NG HH seem to have read my mind, he called me almost immediately when I finished reading his letters. He asked me for my comments, I laughed at him for being silly but oso commented that he's got good English, he writes well and that he should continue writing, well be a journalist or something, cool and wow, wow, wee, hehehehe.
I am an ugly and not plane Jane, I really have doubt that any guys will lay their eyes on me. If they do, that gonna be a ONS --> ONE NIGHT STAND or a FLING with no attachment.... no real relationships. I will never accept this kind of relationships but of cause at that moment, I will not want another committment, I am afraid of getting HURT again and again and again, the feelings are really very very very lousy, everything becomes upside down or downside up,pretty messy. I swear, I will never fall in love again non getting into fling or attachment till I am really really comfortable with someone again.
2 weeks later after return to Singapore, Chicken Pox came to visit me. I am once again DOWN, HOT and QUICK TEMPER, feel like dying, life seem meaningless and I felt like if this feverish feeling going to kill me, I will just die with it, SILLY of me but I was really feeling down & under.
NG HH gives me a call almost every evening, and I feel really good about it, I really miss him, no idea y but my chicken pox was so bad that it goes into my throat, I lost my voice, and I can't swallow, just feel like dying but there is a WILL that keeps me alive and that's NG HH. Cause I am always getting comfy calls from him with no doubt. He would finished his dinner quickly, catch up with work stuffs then started making his calls back to Singapore.
After about a month, NG HH came back to Singapore with all the people I left behind in Australia, he dropped down at my place, passed me some knitting cottons, so sweet of him, shocked at my look and left home to unpack his stuffs. Seriously, I long for his returned but don't know why, I never think of him being my future boyfriend though I likes him alot. (GUESS MY HATRED FOR LOVE IS VERY MUCH STRONGER)..... hehehe I likes him.Thought he will tell me in my face that he likes me but he didn't, so disappointed. I like MAN of ACTION and not WORDS more. (Contradicting right....I oso dunno lah)
He visited me almost every days and even drop me surprise visit.
Seriously, I don't like SURPRISES, don't know why.
When I was on the state of recovering, my ass didn't want to stay home, it wants to go out.... hehehe, my female friend date me and I accepted. Know what???
SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE, he dropped down early next day at my door steps, seriously, I am unhappy about it cause I need to cancel my plan. No Doubt, I told him, I have planned of going shopping with my female friend and that I won't be home and I told him to leave with me etc, well, I mean go seperate way, cause I have no idea if my female friend is comfortable with him around.
While we were strollling and resting and got stuffs we went to ChinaTown, my female friend told me, a guy been following us since we started shopping there. I turn around and saw NG HH, I was almost goes crazy, I was so mad that he followed us, SHIT but when he approached us, I introduce him as a "friend" that i knew during my stay in Australia.
Things getting out of hand, he keeps following me till I could not take it,
NO PRIVACY, I HATE IT and I told him off.
Cutiest thing is he knows I am mad but yet smiling all the time, I lost heart in scolding him......sigh
He was like a ghost coming into my un-prepare life. No doubt I like him but I really dislike being followed all the time, then I decided this should comes to an end, I told him off told him I am not prepare for another relationships and I don't want to be hurt again bla bla bla
I know he got my hint and msg but he is very persistant then I decided to tell him that unless he wants to wait and is patient to wait, I may takes forever to want to fall in love again, but he just ....... mmmmmm and smile again. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
I was very confuse, I like him but don't want to be attached then get hurt again and again the feeling is really lousy, if you know what I meant.
What should I do so he will not get hurt by me?
Well, finally ATCH is back, I speak to him and confided and confess my feelings for NG HH. ATCH lend me his shoulder and ears again, so sweet. At that very moment, somethings came into my mind and I've decided on a planned, hehehehe
I told ATCH to pretend to be my bf so I could shy away from NG HH, he may gets HURT but I am sure it wont last long to forget me totally, well the plans work. I saw NG HH, he cried, But heart break when I saw the tears in his eye, I am heartbroken too but I just cannot make myself to pity him. SO BLOODY SELFISH of me...I know, I know .... I am REALLY SORRY NG HH.
I KNOW I HURT HIM BADLY and I HAVE SEEN HIM couple of time BUT .......
O, not forgetting, I did calls him up at his SQN say for about 6 months after the confrontation, I have left messages for him to call me back on my pager but he never did. I guess he is really mad at me and don't want to even talk to me again. I REALLY DESERVED IT. Know what were the reply given?
The REPLY "HE is away in detachment and we could not catch hold of him or that he is really busy, we get him to call you back and etc "..... well, I never did received any calls from him at all. (I wanted very much to tell him, I miss him and I might want to b with him, if he still likes/love me), Well, I guess that's "GOD's WILL".
I miss him. hehehehe but sianz loh.
O, my life goes on too ..... well it was good for awhile then things change after 10yrs..... no doubt I am not fated to have a hubby or someone I really want to love or that I am destiny to enjoy life alone ba since now that I am not getting any younger but OLD and UGLY...... NOBODY LOVES ME.
RETRIBUTION, RETRIBUTION, RETRIBUTION ---->" BAO-YING"
I am glad that he had finally settle down and had 3 kids, well congratulation to him. PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME, WE CAN ALWAYS BE FRIENDS AGAIN. Juz Keep in contact.
Well the conclusion of the story is :
If you love someone or somebody, please do honestly confess, don't repeat the same mistake I do. Don't take too Long, TIME and TIDE wait for no MAN.
O, FEELS really good after this CONFESSION, 10 long years, whahahahahahahaha
whahahahahahahaha
``the heart was destroyed @
3:55 PM
songs
``the heart was destroyed @
7:29 PM
``the heart was destroyed @
7:22 PM
http://slls88.imeem.com/playlist/IqgmWL7z/
``the heart was destroyed @
7:19 PM
How u think, this Supv should react on the last Sentence?
Let me code u a scenario:-
Date 29 May 2006
As per email attachment, Subject: RESCHEDULE DATE - 209-0041-101
I accidentially send an email on 24 May 2006 to Desner on a reschedule part as per above.
Vendor reply saying:
“Hi Susan,
Kindly advise do you want to pull in the parts?
We have arranged shipment in July for 6k.”
Knowing the email was accidentially send out to Desner, I ask around my fellow colleague - PAs to confirm who/whom the above belongs too. However, all reply except Yu Mui, as no idea belongs to whom So while waiting for my fellow colleagues further check/reply, I send an email to the Buyer – Catherine as per email attachment again on 26 May 2006.
Dear Catherine,
Any advise for the below???
Thanks
And same day Catherine reply:-
Susan,
Pls following system requirement….
Since there isn’t any URGENCY for the parts, I check with PA-Yu Mui again, she say no idea also. But however, I thought it supposed to be belongs to Alicia Woon, so I send an email to her. As per email attachment.
Hello Alicia,
Kindly take noted, No idea this p/n don’t belongs to me.
Thanks
Thank you Catherine
Then Catherine, send an email to Sybille, as per email attachment.
Hi! Sybille,
Pls check with Susan what problem she is having…
After receiving this email from Catherine, Sybille called me to her workstation give me a hard stared and started scolding me loudly in front of my fellow colleague (so loud that the other end of the room can hear) so embarrassing.
I told her I did not do it on purpose but why I send to Alicia was thinking since I am in-charge of 9108, 8108, 9118, 8118 & R108
Therefore part no# 209-0041-101 must be Project: 9101.
She fiercely told me off, shouting at the top of her voice:
You think I got nothing better to do,
I am damned busy you know and
I hate and don’t want to see this kind of mails send to my email box again.
If you don’t know anything “ASK” don’t pretend to be clever.
I felt SO LOST, SO STUPID and SO NO PRIDE.
I apologized and keeping telling her SORRY, will try to be careful in future.
Instead of stopping there, she continued to scold at the top of her voice about everything little things from the email.
-----------------------
Lunch Time – 12 noon to 1pm – My Lunchtime – Peaceful
1pm to 2pm – Her Lunchtime – Peaceful
------------------
After lunch, I read and found that the System – ManMan stated this particular part
ETA: 02/22/22 & MRP: 99/99/99, not knowing what this mean, I check with Fellow Colleagues to confirm. Finally, I realized it is meant to be ON HOLD.
Then I was called to her workstation again. Part two scolding started.
I got to admit that during interview, I did say that I am very new to this line though I was a Purchasing Assistant before. Being in previous Job, my purchasing skills are on computer parts, computer perpherials, computer hardware and software licensing etc and that my Microsoft excel skill is not good.
Being a new staff to this company which I have started 22 May 2006, she shouldn’t have so much expectation on me. Instead she should sit with me to guide me along or to guide that I did the right thing but this was not done. “I got no time, you think I am damn very free” was her reply.
Think she either should go for a "Physcology" course or How to manage ur People's Management or How to Manage My Self-Control & Language Course & A Good Supervisor Course (Not me or I but we course)
Date 30 May 2006
Bangkok send an email requesting for a certain parts to be URGENTLY pull in.
However I have checked from ManMan that it is stated as ETA: 02/22/22 & MRP: 99/99/99, not knowing what I should do. I approached senior/buddy and Buyer for Help and Advise, caused Sybille was not at the workstation. Anyway, Buyer say that she also not very sure what to do got to check with Sybille.
So when Sybille came back to her workstation, I approached her and related the matter. Instead of listening to my explanation on the check for reschedule report that it was ON HOLD and reschedule report was send out since WK# 20(not sure actually week), she jumped and shouted at me again as usual (in front of the Dept at the top of her voice).
I am really at a lost, confused and scared to come for work, always getting the cold treatment from her
“Will I be getting the scolding again tomorrow?”
“What did I do wrong this time to deserve scolding again?”
Whatever the scolding was, I apologized and admit for the sake of admitting.
I kept saying SORRY to her. As she continued with her shouting and scolding.
Date 31 May 2006 to 24 July 2006
Example:
A temp staff help to send out the Reschedule Report for me (using my email) caused I was on MC - No Pay Medical Leave or On No Pay Leave.
Not knowing that LSI & Hitachi are having AAA items (Expensives), I guess our senior/buddy never tell her so. The next day or 2 days later, when I am back at work, before I am able to sit down to check what had been done or had not been done, I was told to go for meeting, (Another scolding session).
Another instant was Reschedule Report was wrongly send to vendors (using my email), I was also scolded loudly for sending it wrongly to vendor. (Example: KCA –attached KGA’s report, KGA with KCA’s report etc).
Got to suffer in silent because I did not come to work during the happenings etc
Something, I do get sarcastic remarks from her, even if I didn’t do/make any mistake but of cause if I do make mistake, I really deserve to be scolded. However, her scolding wasn’t the NORMAL it is more of personal attack.
“Your Old people never teach you.”
“Don’t understand, Why you can be studying Advance Diploma in Computer and know nuts about excel etc”
I sincerely will like to clarify on this point, I am into Software Development on SDLC (System Development Life Cycle) basically in Software Development in Web Technology & Application Software not any Microsoft Office. Seriously I have definitely learned something from This company, that is how to use “VLOOKUP”.
Other than those days that I am not in the office, scolding was a NORM for her.
It seems life cannot go on without scolding me with her loud voice.
I am not sure is this a necessity that to remain silent.
I have feared that if I approached a Bigger Boss about the matter/complaints, will there be a REVENGE thereafter.
I am very worry that I may go insane if I continue staying in this office.
Having said all the above, I personally (and known by the previous company I was working in) as a hardworking, efficient, friendly and cheerful employee. Having suffering this harsh treatment, my confident in working in this company has diminished, and the thought of coming to work is devastating.
Any comments??
``the heart was destroyed @
8:39 AM
Pretty unfortunate or should say down on luck.
Both parents were admitted hospital.
Mum went in on 10 June 2006 (Saturday) due to stroke, then after 2 days Dad oso admitted in the evening 12 June 2006 (Monday) due acute vomitting.
All members of the family when haywire..... especially my eldest Brother coz both
parents stay with him and his family. My sister got involved too coz the moment mum got stroke or so she called my sister up on her mobile after speaking to her on the phone, mum dropped the phone that panic my sister whom she started calling my brother's on his mobile and every contactable phone...etc
Then on Monday, my dad's turn, he vomitted on everything he eats and drinks.
So sad. Both admitted to Changi Hospital but at different lobby, mum at Lobby B while Dad at lobby C.
``the heart was destroyed @
11:26 PM
Have it ever occur to you working under a Female Boss is a lousy thing?
I have work under one many years back, O, she is fantastic, however, she had to resign to an unstress life to give birth to a healthy baby girl. Her Name is Susan Poh.
Understanding and Everything, Life is really really good, no words can say.
Had a new Job started in 22 May 2006. Life is so unfortunate and lousy working with this Supv. Self claimed BOSS. Discouraging , Tempermental etc but better then the DEVIL. If she is PERFECT or EVERYTHINGS PERFECT, I guess she will not be there non I am there to be scolded/tortured by her unnecessarily.
How will u feel, if u r there for only 6 days, Expectation is so high that u got to know everything (eg: 5yrs knowledge). Is she Having problem with people highly qualified then her or is she just biased against me??? Well, I am neither pretty then her non intelligence, I am oso a new beginer to the job scope. Why make things difficult to me??
``the heart was destroyed @
5:39 PM
Now laptop HDD crashed, no backup for my project/assignment - Cprog.
oso can't test if wireless router is working anot.
so sian n so sway
``the heart was destroyed @
7:42 PM
I hv received a replacement Linksys Router B model to G. However, My current laptop is using Wireless Card-B so now the question is can Wireless-B card be use for Wireless-G router?
Pls advise,
Thank u
``the heart was destroyed @
2:23 AM
Wireless Router could route but can't receive own IP address.
All Project coding and Assignment save on laptop could not be transfer to a Desktop coz
Desktop got no floppy Disk and oso could not access internet.
Called up starhub to check see what happened. After checking Starhub insisted that it is LINKSYS problem (Using Linksys Router). I seek Starhub customer service to send Linksys an email requesting for them to assist me on Thursday and Starhub customer service send an amended copy of Help to change to Thursday.
Linksys tech called up on Wednesday, but I was rushing out to settle something very important. I told them I am rushing off to the hospital to pay my mum a visit. Requested again Eugene (Linksys tech) to call me back on Thursday evening which he say: "Is it ok to call at 11pm", I say yes and thank U.
Know what, nobody call me on Whole Thursday to Friday till 5am I waited. Until Saturday morning, Salvada a philipino called me up, nv apology non explain, y nv called on Thursday at 11pm. We gone thru the whole procedure again which I hv done checked b4 dropping a called to starhub etc, then go thru the same procedure etc with linksys tech .... so troublesome ....
'Procedure is dead, Human are alive'
Waster my time and effort .....nothing was done. Then I got to wait another few more days for my replacement set .
Well, the conclusion is Never help them thru the procedure coz it will b repeated. Waste of time. Anything just called them and seek help. Never try to do it urself. .....Singish say: Don't Kah Poh
``the heart was destroyed @
3:19 PM
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